Ciel Phantomhive

Ugly post but critique me here if you need

PLAYER INFORMATION
Name: Dubs
Preferred pronoun(s): she/her
Contact: Discord: Dubbins Dubbins

CHARACTER INFORMATION
Name: "Ciel" Phantomhive
Canon: Black Butler
Canon point: chapter 213
Age: 13

Personality: Please answer the following questions:

CW: Ciel's history involves a great deal of triggering content such as CSA, forced drug use, slavery, cults, murder (of family/children/etc), mutilation of corpses, and a number of other things (that this app probably won't touch). I'm not going to get into the gruesome details of all this aside from mentioning that it happened as needed, but it's there and Ciel has a fair bit of trauma related to it that plays a big part of his personality.

Oh, also spoilers galore if you want to take a stab at a canon 18 years late like I did.

» What traits do your character admire in a person?

Intellect, class, manners, and loyalty (to him specifically). Bonus if they are prone to being quiet. He does not admire a great many people. He either dislikes them presuming the worst in them as people, or pities them because they're going to be the victims of the former.

» What do they dislike most about themself?

(CSA mention second paragraph)
Ciel's self loathing is complex. Complex to the point everyone actually thinks he's dead. Ciel is not actually Ciel, he's Ciel's unnamed younger twin brother that survived their captivity with the cult. He was always considered weaker, a "spare", while his family loved him dearly, he was a sickly child- to the point some more distant family members even debated his worth as a spare. So he let "himself" be the one that died, and took up his brothers identity. "Ciel's" return was celebrated, and the sickly twin was briefly mourned, then promptly forgotten and never spoken of again.

Couple this with the trauma from the abuse and humiliation he faced captive by the cult and how that changed him, it's pretty safe to say that what he hates most is his weakness. The weakness from being the sickly spare that held no value, his weakness at being helpless against his captors, and helpless to stop what was done to his family, and later his brother. On the one hand, this leads him to be very fearful though he keeps that much close to his chest if he can, but then there are times he puts himself in harms way, or is incredibly reckless. Yes, he has a demon that he knows will come to his rescue out of obligation, but he sure does test the limits of that.

» What discrepancies are there between their inner self (who they feel they are) and their outer self (how they present themselves to others)?

(CW: Mental breakdown/extreme panic attack/PTSD second paragraph)
Ciel, regardless of how long he's been playing the part, is not his brother. Despite playing the part of his outgoing and bold older brother, it's still in conflict of who he really is. He dislikes crowds and being social, he discretely fulfilled his childhood ("Childhood" like it wasn't just 3 years ago) dream of running a toy shop by using family funds to start a business specializing in toys and candy.

One of the biggest aspects of his 'inner' self is his fear. During the Green Witch arc, Ciel has a near-death experience that causes him to have a complete breakdown and winds up consumed by fear to the point he doesn't seem to be wholly grounded in reality. He wouldn't allow any adults near him even those he knew and trusted (like the demon literally tasked with protecting him), and he could barely be convinced to leave his bed and eat. After a few days when he's snapped out of it, he expresses extreme embarrassment and requests everyone forget they saw any of that.

» Who are two influential people in their life (can be positive or negative)?
(CW:...demon abuse?)

Sebastian, the demon the cult summoned with the sacrifice of the real Ciel. Our Ciel has a very complicated relationship with Sebastian. On the one hand, he utterly loathes him, he's the monster that his brother died for. To make matters worse he also devoured his soul and to make it even worse than that, Sebastian is slated to devour HIS soul as well, once their contract is fulfilled. Even if he agreed to that last one, it's still fair to be mad about it given the circumstances. He even named Sebastian after the family dog... a dog he didn't even like (thought fittingly it bullied him). Sebastian winds up being a perfect scapegoat for his anger at... everything that happened. Early on especially, Ciel would not hesitate to lash out in anger, slapping Sebastian, or pouring boiling water in his hands when he didn't make tea to his liking. In the three years since his summoning, Ciel has gotten somewhat more mature about how he deals with Sebastian, and is less overtly physically abusive unless a situation presents itself.

At the same time, Ciel is almost entirely dependent on Sebastian, as the demon has taken the role of his personal butler. He does his hair, helps him dress, makes his food, and serves as his sword and his shield, and Ciel will even request that he stay in the room with him at night until he falls asleep. He's Ciel's only hope of reaching his goals, and provides Ciel with the only sense that he's safe.

The other person, unsurprisingly, is his twin brother as he quite literally would not be the person he is today without him. I touched on already how Ciel has tried to absorb his brother's personality, and while he's still himself, he has managed to successfully adopt some of his brothers traits. He is bold and confident though that can translate to him being reckless and callous, with the latter it may be more from a place of being self-destructive and apathy. Overall, while he is not his brother at heart, he is no longer the "weak little crybaby" he used to be either. He's become a fair, intelligent, clever, and well-loved leader... while being something of a complete bastard at times. A stark contrast to the naive little marshmallow he was as a child.

Though more noticeably, upon the real Ciel's returned via some weird combination of Pet Sematary, Frankenstein, and a splash of Dracula, our Ciel's life has once again been turned on it's head. While at one point his identity as Ciel was a facade he wore, now he's doubled down and declared it's his life, that he's the true Ciel. He hasn't quite had much time to process this new bit of information emotionally though, and instead has put all his efforts into moving forward.

» What do they get excited about?

Excited is a bit of a strong word considering he himself states that he hasn't been able to smile or be genuinely happy for years. That said, he likes sweets, tea (but it must be made well), and stuffed animals (bunnies in particular). He goes as far as to have all prototype toys his company produces to be sent to him for quality assurance. He will hug test them. He will never admit any of this.

» What is something they are very bad at?

Day-to-day functioning on his own. He's a pampered noble who has always had help getting dressed, always had his food made for him, and never done an ounce of physical labor in his life. He abhors sports and physical exertion and will only partake if his competitiveness and pettiness take hold.

On the rare occasions he's forced to make it on his own for a brief period, he takes ages to get dressed (has trouble with buttons), ties his eyepatch lopsided, somehow manages to not brush his hair correctly, and also ties his shoes lopsided.

» What is one thing they would tell their younger self if they had the chance?

Ciel would jump immediately on trying to warn his younger self of either his tenth birthday or the revival of his elder brother. Seeing as that won't work since he won't vanish... he'd opt to say nothing. Might be envious to see a version of himself that's happy and still has it all.

» How do they want to be remembered?

Long story short: he doesn't. As far as everyone was previously concerned, the weak spare died three years ago. Now he wants to be remembered as Ciel, and probably cares for little else.

Powers/abilities:

-Incredibly intelligent
-the Power of Gun (but it's a normal victorian era gun)
-Has an adorable little baby face that he will absolutely weaponize and use to manipulate people into taking care of him.

Other than that he's a completely useless human being that can barely dress himself. Unless you count the ability to boss around one very specific powerful demon who is currently not present in game.

Inventory:
Family signet ring (for those old-timey wax stamps)
Regular family ring (For noble ego)
Pistol (loaded: 5 bullets 2 used on the TDM)
pocket watch because he's fancy like that

Sentimental item: His mother's earring. After the massacre of his family, the entire estate was put to flame and thus Ciel lost everything of his parents. He has the family ring that marks him as head of the Phantomhive household, which his father held before him, but nothing of his mother's. He will very quietly hold it dear to him.

Gemstone: Blue and mostly smooth on the outside but deeply cracked that reveals the black interior.

Lost memory #1:

His true name. At his current canonpoint his identity as "Ciel" has been stolen from him (Well, technically returned to the actual Ciel), which rather than falling back on his old identity he has doubled down that he is Ciel now (via throwing a very understandable tantrum) and that he won't have that taken from him. This would make him extra desperate to cling onto that identity since there's REALLY no going back without his original name.

It also lets me get around the fact that his true name was never mentioned. Saved by the amnesia mechanic.

Lost memory #2:

His mental breakdown during the Green Witch arc. He's pretty overconfident in his mental state on average, but that was a painfully humbling experience that he'd like to forget forever. That way he can go back to thinking he's completely emotionally sound and in no way vulnerable and not in control of himself. So we'll grant him that wish and let him either make the same mistake twice, or have a fun time getting that memory back later.

(CW:dead child, mutilation of a corpse, disembowelment?)
Altered memory: In the original memory, the Real Ciel, waltzed into the Phantomhive estate, and upon being greeted by Ciel's friend Prince Soma and his butler Agni, makes a move to kill Soma. Instead Agni drags Soma and shoves him in a pantry and holds it shut while he's stabbed to death. Real Ciel presumably leaves for one reason or another but not before having the message "Who stole the candy from my tummy" carved in the wall of his bedroom. This is in reference to during the twin's time in captivity in order to keep the family ring with them the real Ciel swallowed it saying "don't tell anyone I swallowed the blue candy". Our Ciel later had to try and carve it out of his gut, but in the end had to have Sebastian do it... because y'know, he was ten and almost ready to throw up.

In the altered memory Angi and Soma are both fine, his only warning of his brother's return being the creepy carving on the wall. This will make his feelings regarding his brother more complicated, and previously the murder made it abundantly clear that the real Ciel returned Not Quite Right and needs to be handled with the same care as one would a hungry bear. While he still makes himself an enemy without Agni's death, it's TECHNICALLY on somewhat more moral ground. And our Ciel not realizing his older brother is completely bananas could be rather dangerous for him, on top of adding onto his already tumultuous emotional state.

Sample:
Be gentle with me, I'm still new at him